Action almost unknown in 'Unknown World'

Unknwon World (aka "To the Center of the Earth") (1951)
Starring: Victor Kilian, Bruce Kellogg, Marilyn Nash, and Otto Waldis
Director: Terry O. Morse
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A group of obnoxious scientiest and their boorish, wealthy patron hop in their nifty drilling, amphibeous under-earth ATV--the Cyclotram!--to explore deep underground, hoping to find a place where humankind can retreat to in case of a nuclear disaster.


Never has so little happened during a "let's go looking for the underground world"-type movie. I think I can safely say that, despite the high bodycount among expedition members, the enterprise undertaken by the characters in "Unknown World" is the least eventful, most uninteresting, and ultimately pointles journey to "inner-earth" that any fictional characters have ever undertaken.

There's no much here, exept a slighly more scientific take on what explorers might find deep underground--as in, no monsters, no nubile, scantily clad queens of Atlantis, no nothing. And, frankly, if you're going to make a movie about guys drilling their way to the center of the Earth, you better damn well give me some monsters and nubile barbarian queens at the far end! ("The Core" would have been better if there had been babes in loinclothes and little else at the end of that trip, too.)

Fine romantic comedy presented in comics

Maison Ikokku, Vols. 1-14 (original Viz English language edition)
Story and Art: Rumiko Takahashi
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

"Maison Ikkoku" is a romantic comedy that focuses on Godai, a young man who falls in love with the manager of his apartment building (the building is what the series is named for). The manager is Kyoko, a young widow who is still recovering from the loss of her husband, her first and (so far) only true love.


The series follows the development of Godai and Kyoko's relationship, as it is threatened by romantic rivals, the general weirdness of the other residents of Maison Ikkoku, and misunderstandings that, if featured on sit-coms, might actualy make them worth watching. The readers also get to follow the emotional growth of Godai and Kyoko, both of whom really have a lot of maturing to do when the series starts. Although the supporting cast and much of the comedic antics are pure slap-stick, Godai and Kyoko are very real characters in whom you will become emotionally invested... and for whom you may well feel yourself misting up when their story comes to an end.

"Maison Ikkoku" consists of 14 volumes. As with all of Takahashi's work, the art is pleasing to the eye, the characters are all likable, and the humour is genuinely funny. Some elements of the story grow out of Japanese culture, but the characters are developed enough that the reader can nonetheless relate to all their reactions, viewpoints, joys and heartbreaks.

A quick search tells me that this series is currently out of print in English. That's a shame, because it truly is one of the better comic books/graphic novel series to ever have been penned. (Yeah, yeah... it's not a comic book, it's manga--blah-blah-blah. It's got panels, it's got speech bubbles, it's got sound-effects drawn in... it's a comic book.)

However, I think if you go to the library, eBay.com, or Half-Priced Book for a cheap second-hand copy of Vol. 1 of the series and follow it through to the end, you'll agree with me that it's an amazing bit of work. You'll also get to watch Takahashi's style evolve. "Maison Ikkoku" was one of her first long-running series; her style clearly developes and improves as it goes along, but even those rough first volumes are far and above superior to run-of-the-mill comics both back then and today.

(Note: This review and the Nine Star-rating is based on the original Viz editions. The current printing is in the "non-flipped" mode, and the books read right to left, back to front. The more recent editions gets Five Stars for Viz's butchering of what was a fine translation of this Japanese series. For my commentary on the obnoxious, cheap way Japanese comics have been increasingly presented in English since 2005,click here.)

Tectonic Tuesday: Independence Day Aftershocks

"They hate us for our freedom," President George Bush famously said. And he was right. There are few things that fascist psychos and the dictators in charge of places like Iran, China, and Venezuela hate more than a population that is free to speak their minds and guide their own lives.

However, they also fear our freedom, because with it comes the right to dress as we choose. And with that comes scantily clad women. And with that comes earthquakes, as Imam Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi revealed when he brought the world this Allah-inspired bit of insight: "Many women who do not dress modestly ... lead young men astray, corrupt their chastity and spread adultery in society, which (consequently) increases earthquakes."

With warm weather and U.S. women having the freedom to dress as immodestly as they please at picnics and parades and backyard BBQs, earthquakes in July are only natural. In fact, immodest American women may become this country's greatest weapon when their power is harnessed after the Pentagon perfects the Earthquake Machine!

Yes, they fear us for our freedom. And here are some examples of why, in what is partly a post-Independence Day celebration of immodest American women, but also a continuation of my efforts to spread the wisdom of the Great Imam Slammy (as he is known to friends) to the world.

In July of 1985 Hawke's Bay, New Zealand was rocked by an earthquake and some 35 aftershocks. All because of immodest American women. (Pictured is Madonna, who has corrupted the chastity of men throughout the 1980s and 1990s. She is a bit beyond that point now, but she nonetheless continues to dress as immodestly as ever.)





In July of 2005, an earthquake struck the Nicobar Islands off the coast of India, and Tokyo was rattled by the biggest earthquake in decades. (Pictured is bikini model Jessiqa Pace, who has been making the earth move since the late 1990s.)




In July of 2008, an earthquake struck Southern California, showing that even the United States themselves can sometimes be exposed to the power of our nation's exposed women. (Pictured is singer and actress Jessica Simpson, who has been making the earth move since the dawn of the new millenium.)



In July of 2002 the earth shook in Balochistan and Karnitaka (both parts of India), as well as in the African nation of Cameroon. (Pictured is pop singer Britney Spears, who was the subject of the first Tectonic Tuesdays Case Study.)



And it's all because of the immodest women of the United States of America.


(That's actually Danish photographer Carlotta Oestervang wearing a US flag bathing suit, but the point still stands. She was in New York at the time.)

Much promised, but nothing delivered

She-Gods of Shark Reef (1958)
Starring: Bill Cord, Don Durant, Lisa Montell, and Jeanne Gerson
Director: Roger Corman
Rating: One of Ten Stars

Two brothers (Cord and Durant), one wanted for murder, are shipwrecked on an island inhabited only by women who collect and guard pearls for an international jewelry company. However, the women are also involved with a cult devoted to a shark god who hungers for sacrificial virgins.


"She-Gods of Shark Reef" is one of the most disappointing movies I've ever seen. The first 15 or so minutes provide an abundance of promising set-ups, any one of which could have given rise to a decent horror movies and any combination of which could have been the foundation for a great horror movie.

First, we have our heroes completely cut off from the surrounding world. Add to that the fact that the island they are stuck on is completely owned by "The Company", and that only "The Company provides transportation on and off the island. The there's Pua (Gerson), the creepy woman in charge of the pearl divers, someone who is obviously hiding secrets and whose primary motivation seems to be protecting the interest of "The Company" above all else, as well as hiding whatever secrets there may be on the island. And, finally, there's the fact that the women are a bunch of superstitious cultists who believe their well-being is tied to a mysterious shark god that prowls the waters beyond the pearl beds they dive at. Oh, and then there's the added bonus that shark-infested waters are scary all by themselves.

But what does director Roger Corman and screenwriters Robert Hill and Victor Stoloff do with all this potential? Absolutely nothing, other than giving the "good brother" the opportunity to rescue a girl (Montell) from being a virgin sacrifice as part of a romantic plot in the film. The mysterious Company never comes into play, the creepy Pua turns out to be more of a nag than a serious threat to anyone, and the shark god angle is total dud. Heck, even the shark-infested waters aren't used to their potential, as characters blithely swim back and forth between the island the reef of the title.

This film wastes all its potential, features a cast who might be okay if they had a decent script and perhaps stronger direction but who mostly seem lost here, and spends five or so minutes of its brief 63-minute running time on showing the island girls doing Hawaiian dances. (Not sure why the dance segment is there. Perhaps it's intended as a tourism PSA as an additional thank you to the government of Hawaii, which is acknowledged and thanked for assistance at the beginning of the beginning of the film, or maybe just a misfired attempt to inject some exoticness into the beautiful but somewhat bland setting of the film.)

The only reason I'm not giving this film a 0-star rating is because it remains interesting for most of its running time. Even that misplaced Hawaiian dance routine isn't exactly boring, It could be it held my attention because I kept hoping some of its potential would pay off, but for all of its flaws and ultimately being a disappointment, but it kept me engaged.

But it is a crime against lovers of cheesy movies that a great title like "She-Gods of Shark Reef" was wasted on such a crappy movie. The crime becomes even greater when one considers the original poster used to promote the film:


Oh, if only the movie itself to have lived up to the coolness the marketing material promised!

Nancy Drew: Trouble-shooter or Trouble-maker?

Nancy Drew: Trouble Shooter (1938)
Starring: Bonita Granville, Frankie Thomas, John Litel, Eville Alderson, Charlotte Wynters, Willie Best and Aldrich Bowker
Director: William Clemens
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When a family friend (Bowker) is accused of murder, celebrated attorney Carson Drew (Litel) travels to a small country town to defend him at trial. As Carson builds his case and finds romance with a local lady (Wynters), his teenaged daugther Nancy (Granville) and her long-suffering friend Ted (Thomas) set about to prove his client's innocence by finding the real killers.


"Nancy Drew: Trouble Shooter" is a fast-movie action/comedy with a fairly simply mystery thrown in for good measure. Its pacing and general story thrust reminds me of some of the juvenile mysteries I read as a kid, so I found it quite entertaining. (Someone who's actually read some of the original Nancy Drew books tells me that everyone is behaving very much out of character, but if taken on its own merits, this is a fun little movie.)

While the thrills I'm positive this film generated for its young target audience in 1939 were far greater than those they will inspire in kids today, I think this is a film that modern youngsters might enjoy, particularly if they're readers who are interested in mysteries. The story moves fast enough and the situations that Nancy and Ted end up in are dangerous enough that I think they will be drawn into the action. It can also serve as a great conversation piece between parents and kids who may be studying American history or who just have an interest in history. It is a clear illustration of how much society has changed in the seventy years since the film's release--all the main characters featured in the film are wealthy, yet the country house the Drew's stay in doesn't have gas or running water or a phone. That's just the most obvious "study guide" element present in this film,

If you like old time detective films and comedies, I think you'll be entertained by "Nancy Drew: Trouble Shooter", no matter what your age.

Saturday Scream Queen: Barbara Payton

Partly because I made reference to her in this week's write-up of Susan Denberg in the Saturday Scream Queens series, but mostly because I'm trying to erase the fact that posted an article to the wrong blog, I am bumping up Barbara Payton's appearance and making two Scream Queen posts this week.


Barbara Payton left home at 19 to pursue a career as an actress. After enjoying great early success, with contracts at Warner Bros. and Universal Pictures, and appearing in movies along side the likes of Gregory Peck and James Cagney, a wild party life-style, along with too many drugs and too much liquor, started taking its toll.

She ended her career doing horror films and thrillers, starting with the rather awful "Bride of the Gorilla" in 1951, but appearing in somewhat better fare from Hammer Films--"Four-Sided Triangle" and "Bad Blonde"--when she went to England in a last-ditch effort to get things back on track. It was too little, too late, and by 1955, Barbara Payton had made her last movie. She died in 1967 of heart and liver failure, at the age of 39, her body and one-time beauty wrecked by alcohol abuse and hard living.

Click here to read reviews of a few of Barbara Payton movies (including horror films "Bride of the Gorilla" and "Four-Sided Triangle") at Shades of Gray.

Saturday Scream Queen: Susan Denberg

One of who knows how many promising actresses whose careers have been ruined by too much partying and too many drugs, German-born Susan Denberg's brief career of two movies and two television appearances only included one horror film, but what a great horror film it was!

Denberg played both monster and victim in "Frankenstein Created Woman", a film that is not only one of the best of the Peter Cushing-starring Hammer Films Frankenstein films, but also one of the best and most unusual Frankenstein films to ever be made, period. It's a tale of love and revenge from the beyond the grave, as Baron Frankenstein takes a break from stitching dead body parts together and instead turned to experimenting with the souls of the recently departed.

Denberg worked briefly as a showgirl in Las Vegas before turning to acting in Los Angeles. After great initial success, the party scene derailed her career. She left show business behind shortly after completing "Frankenstein Created Woman" and returned to her native Germany. Despite rumors of her death--partly generated by some fans confusing her with hard-living and hard-partying actress Barbara Payton who coincidentally died in 1967, the same year Denberg retired from acting--Denberg is presently living in Austria under her real name, Dietlinde Zechner.

Click here to read an article at The Peter Cushing Collection that includes a review of "Frankenstein Created Woman".

When Spies, Lies, and Morons Collide....

Burn After Reading (2008)
Starring: George Clooney, Frances McDormand, John Malkovich, Brad Pitt, Tilda Swinton, Richard Jenkins, David Rache, and J.K. Simmons
Directors: Ethan Coen and Joel Coen
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When a pair of dimwitted health club employees (McDormand and Pitt) find what they believe is a disk full of highly classified CIA secrets, their get-rich-quick efforts set in motion a series of events that shows that no one causes chaos like the very stupid.



"Burn After Reading" is a movie about hopes, dreams, lies, deception, and betrayal. It's got all the elements you find in spy movies, but they're found here in a story of cheating spouses--half the characters in the film are breaking their marriage vows spectacularly--a burned-out CIA analyst (played by John Malkovich), and the people at the CIA who are so concerned with secrecy that they can't take the simple step of asking "what the hell are you morons doing?"

The purposefully tangled mess that is the movie's plot gains its comedy from the fact that the smartest people in the world can't figure out what a pair of doofus are up to (nor the real causes for the events they set in motion) and it's a source it taps very well.

Hilarious performances by Brad Pitt as the dumbest health fanatic ever, George Clooney as the horniest government employee ever, and Tilda Swinson as a woman so bitchy no-one even dares to imply she's bitchy stand out in particular in this perfectly cast and skillfully acted and directed film. If you liked movies like "Fargo" and "Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang", you'll get a kick out of this one as well. It's not quite as good as either of those two films, but it's still fun.

'The House by the Cemetery' isn't worth visiting

The House by the Cemetery (1984)
Starring: Katherine MacColl, Paolo Malco, Giovanni Frezza, and Ania Pieroni
Director: Lucio Fulci
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

A researcher (Malco) moves with his family to Boston to complete the work started by a collegue who committed suicide. Through a flurry of coincidences (or Fate, or maybe the researcher's specific manipulation, take your pick), they end up in a creepy house that is tied to the subject of the research. Ghosts, unkillable bats, and weird murders then drive the young family toward doom.

If you like your horror flicks with a high level of well-done gore but don't care whether the story hangs together well, then this is a film for you.

One part haunted house movie, one part slasher flick, and with a dash of mad science thrown in out of left field for good measure, " House by the Cemetery" exhibits all the strength and weaknesses that were the hallmarks of Italian horror movie makers in the Seventies and Eighties; the gore is appropriately disgusting--although the highmark in this film is definately the maggot-infested insides of the film's monster!--but there are characters who behave inconsistently or incomprehsibly and the script writers seem more concerned with getting from plot contrievance to plot contrievance, or providing excuses for the special efffects crew to go to work than they are with providing a story that hands together sensibly by the time the End Credits roll.

I know Fulci has his strong admirers, and I'm sure they will find much to like in this movie, but I was too annoyed with the coincidences, pointless ambiguities, and just plain random junk that pass for the story to get much enjoyment from it. It wasn't even fun nonsense, like you get in the Monogram and PRC horror movies from the 1930s and 1940s; it was just nonsense. (And if you are an admirer of this film, can you explain the behavior of the creepy babysitter [played by Ania Pieroni] to me? That annoyed me more than anything else in the picture.)

Oh... and that picture I used to illustrate this review? It appeared on a German poster for the flick, It's a cool painting, even if it has little do to with what actually happens.

'Manhunter: The Special Edition' collects great work by Goodwin and Simonson

Manhunter: The Special Edition (DC Comics, 2005)
Writer: Archie Goodwin
Artist: Walter Simonson
Rating: Ten of Ten Stars

"Manhunter: The Special Edition" collects some of the finest comics ever created and published by Americans. Originally published in 1973 and 1974 in issues of "Detective Comics", "Manhunter" was a revival and reinvention of a Golden Age superhero of the same name. In the talented hands of writer Archie Goodwin--one of the greatest talents of American comics--and artist Walter Simonson, it was also a high-water mark not only in graphic storytelling but also in adventure fiction that has rarely been equalled in the 30 years since the material was first published. It is a book that every aspiring comic book creator should read carefully.

In 1946, mystery man Paul Kirk (aka Manhunter) is killed during an African safari. However, he awakens some 25 years later, healed and restored through the super-science of the Council, a group of World War II-era scienties bent on reshaping the world in their image. They hoped Kirk would serve as their chief enforcer of their will, but instead he dedicates himself to opposing their fascist goals. He is soon joined by a small group of allies, foremost among them being Christine St. Claire, a intelligent and sexy Interpol agent, and the mysterious Batman.


The "Manhunter" series reprinted in this book consists of six 8-page chapters and a 20-page climactic episode that chronicle events from Paul Kirk's ressurection through his final, cataclysmic showdown with the master of the Council. These stories are textbook perfect examples of how to tell a complex story in a serial format, with each installment managing to provide a stand-alone story while developing both the larger tale and the personalities of its cast of characters.

In addition to the original "Manhunter" series, the "Special Edition" reprint includes an interesting essay by Goodwin on the development of the series (reprinted from a 1979 collection of the series), as well as a new "Manhunter" story that Goodwin was working on at the time of his death and which Simonson finished and presented as a "silent" tale--just art and no words--in memory of Goodwin. These two items are great additions to an already fabulous package.





You can read all the classic "Manhunter" stories online by clicking here. Start with the earliest post first, of course, as blogs always read in "reverse order" when it comes to series of posts.