Meat Loaf's 'I Would Do Anything for Love'

It's a great video for one of his greatest recordings. (It was directed by Michael Bay.)

'The Big Empty' is a little bit of weirdness

The Big Empty (2005)
Starring: Selma Blair, Elias Koteas, Richard Kind, Gabriel Mann, and Hugh Laurie
Director: J. Lisa Chang
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

When its discovered that Alice (Blair) has a vagina that serves as the gateway to a vast, frozen wasteland, the doctor who makes the discovery (Koteas) takes her on the lecture and talk show circuits, using her as his own ticket to fame and fortune. But an encounter with a caring young man (Mann) may finally alleviate the painful, cold aching inside her.

I'm not sure what to make of this 21-minute film. My first thought was that maybe it was the story of the pain a woman unable to have children might feel, but toward the end I thought it might be about the emptiness and heartache one feels living without love in one's life. Perhaps the message in this film is a Woman Thing, because I'm left scratching my head.

Despite my uncertainty of what the filmmakers are trying to say, I am impressed with the creativity (and touch of craziness) in the idea of this film, as well in its execution. The oddness of the film isn't restricted to its subject matter, but also to its costume and production design which is a mixture of modern-day and 1950sh sort of look that gives it a timeless, dreamlike quality. It's also impressive that, despite the sad tone that runs through the piece, the filmmakers bring on a high number of laughs as it unfolds, with the cameo appearance by Hugh "Dr. House" Laurie being funny just because of who he is. The concluding special effects shot is also jaw-droppingly gorgeous.

All in all, this is a film that's a fitting work product for all the movie heavy-weights involved, ranging from the well-known actors to executive producers George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh.

You can watch "The Big Empty" in its entirety via this very post. Just click on the arrow below. I hope you enjoy the film, and I hope you'll share your opinion of it.



(This is actually the first of two films titled "The Big Empty" that I'll be reviewing before November has run its course.)

The Adventures of Lemon Drop!

Lemon Drop (2010)
Starring: Ali Larter, Martin Kove, and Erica McIntyre
Director: Traktor
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

Lemon Drop (Larter) is a sexy defender of cute animals, and when a pair of kittens are abducted from the pet store that serves as the front for her operation, she swings into immediate action. Clues lead her to a night club, but why would singing sensation Johnny Thunderbird (Kove) want to abduct kittens?

Absolut Vodka has a cute ad campaign going for their lemon flavored vodka, the center piece of which is an online short film that tries to look like one of those discarded drive-in B-movies that show up in less-than-perfect condition in the DVD multi-packs with titles like "Tough Dames" and "Drive-In Movie Classics."

Although it's not a "full-length movie" as banner ads at Rottentomatoes.com and elsewhere claim, it is still a cute little spoof. Although I'm usually a Three Olives kinda guy--with chocolate and cherry flavored vodkas being my favorites--I might reward them by giving their product a test next time I'm restocking the liquor cabinet. The jokes are funnier and the performances are better in this little ad are better than in some real movies I've been subjected to in recent years.

You can check out "Lemon Drop" without needing to go anywhere but here. Just click "play" on the imbedded video, below. (For what it's worth, it's strictly a soft-sell ad.)



(For more on Ali Larter and her recurring part in the "Resident Evil" series, click here to visit my Terror Titans blog.)

When Ninja Attack....

Mask of the Ninja (2007)
Starring: Bernice Liuson Sim
Director: Kevin Anderton
Rating: Nine of Ten Stars

A Chinese secret agent (Sim), who has studied the ways of the Ninja, sees her skills put to the test when she is beset by enemies on all sides.

"Mask of the Ninja" is a three-minute short that's a hilarious spoof of martial arts movies. The filming and editing is nicely done, and the acting is also very nice. Of course, this is just a three-minute short, but it's so good that it leaves you wishing for more. Plus, it's guarenteed to make you laugh.

Watch the film yourself by clicking below!



A big "Thank You" to Vic Clay (who appears as one of the two bums at the very beginning of the film) for calling this film to my attention.

'Death in Charge' is excellent horror short

Death In Charge (2008)
Starring: Marina Benedict, Kylie Chalia and Gillian Shure
Director: Devi Snively
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

When an indifferent mother (Shure) mistakes the Grim Reaper (Benedict) for a babysitter and rushes off for the night, Death gains a new perspective on life while spending an evening with a nine-year-old girl (Chalia).


"Death in Charge" is an interesting film that packs more interesting character development into its 15-minute running time than many films manage to do with 115 minutes. Most impressive about the film is the take on the personification of Death, and actress Marina Benedict manages to bring many dimensions to this character, dimensions that range from humorous to chilling. (It's funny to see Death try to get the attention of a mother so preoccupied with her upcoming date that she can't tell the Grim Reaper from a goth babysitter, but it's chilling to watch Death go about her business as the film draws to a close.)

Well-staged and well-acted, the main thrust of the film has us see Death learning about the little joys of life from a little girl, in a part of the film that is humorous and touching... even if we know that something is going to go wrong. And that "something" is when the girl callously kills a bunch of Sea Monkeys, because she is disgusted by the fact they don't resemble the cartoon animals on the box when they come to life in the water. Benedict manages to convey heartbreak as Death--who had been enjoying eating Mac 'n' Cheese, playing video games, and seeing the Sea Monkeys spring to life before her very eyes--sadly remembers her reason for being as she watches the Sea Monkeys die.

Adult film of yesteryear...

Here's a bit of weirdness from 1929 (appropriatly enough, coming to us via Something Weird Video).

Boring sex and lousy mummy costumemakes this a must-ignore

Mummy Raider (2002)
Starring: Misty Mundae, Darian Caine and Ruby Larocca
Director: Brian Paulin
Rating: Zero of Ten Stars

When Kristen (Caine) is abducted by a Neo-Nazi scientist (Larocca), it's up to adventuress Misty (Mundae) to save her before an ancient evil mummy is resurrected. Will even Misty's considerable skills at shooting, Kung Fu fighting, and lesbian seduction save the day?!


This "movie" clocks in at about 45 minutes, and even that's too long. It doesn't work as a spoof (it's not funny), it doesn't work as an action film (the fight scenes are so very, very lame), it doesn't work as thriller (bad acting and an even worse plot), it doesn't work as a horror film (horrible though it may be), and it doesn't even work as a soft-core porn flick (yeah, Misty wanders around topless for most of the flick, but so what?!).

Zita Johann was sexier in the 1932 Universal film "The Mummy" fully clothed than any of the ladies are in this flick. Yes, the girls here are very attractive and the casting appears to have been done so there's a breast-size to meet your oogling preference... but you've got to be REALLY hungry for naked flesh to sit through this one.

Add to the drawbacks what is one of the very worst mummy costumes that has ever been put on a film that people were expected to pay money to see, and you've got something that's not even worth the time it'll take you put the disc in your DVD player.

Most impressive vomiting scene ever filmedis highlight of 'Jack the Vomiter'

Jack the Vomiter (2006)
Starring: Jon Swanstrom
Director: Derrick King, Mike Corrigan, Travis Hiibner and Gary McLeod

A killer (Swanstrom) is stalking through the shadows of a Victorian-era city, butchering prostitutes and leaving a... um... most unusual signature at each brutal slayings.


The film's title gives away part of this strange little short's punchline, but you still won't be prepared for what actually happens, and you'll be laughing despite yourself... laughing until you almost puke. But you won't puke like Jack... no one pukes like Jack!

The filmmakers shot "Jack the Vomiter" as if it was a silent movie, and they used various methods to make the film appear as if it was a ill-used silent movie, with missing frames, badly done splices, scratches, and burn- and mildew-damage. When I originally posted this review to Rotten Tomatoes, I commented that I thought they filmmakers had gone a bit far with the "aging" of the film, that the damage appeared so severe that I doubted it could even run through a projector if it had been real. At the time, I assumed the damage was computer generated.

However, Mike Corrigan contacted me with the following technical information about the film: "The 'missing frames, badly done splices, scratches, and burn- and mildew-damage" were actually the result of hand-processing the 16mm sections in a bucket without any regard for correct procedure. Hence, the film came out stuck together and half processed in spots. Then we dried it in my back yard where it picked up even more crud. We actually DID run it through a projector (amazingly) and parts of it were transferred at home. Just thought you'd be interested in our 'process.'"

"Jack the Vomiter" is a very interesting bit of film, although the inconsistent narrative tone is a weakness that bothers me. In some scenes, the filmakers do a good job of capturing the feel of a real silent movie (even if the subject matter would never have appeared in one), yet in others not even a halfhearted attempt is made. However, the effective use of an occasional sound and the strategically placed, deadpan-humours title cards go along way to make up for the inconsistent cinematic styles. And the projectile vomiting. I've never laughed so hard at vomiting in my life! It's a scene that must be seen to be believed!

As far as the vomiting goes, Corrigan added this: "The Vomit Canon? Well, that's a trade secret!"

I must admit that I don't understand the point of this film (unless it was to create the most impressive vomit scene ever displayed on screen), but it entertained me and that's ultimately what matters most when it comes to movies.

Click here to visit the official HeadJuice Production website. You can even purchase your very own DVD copy of "Jack the Vomiter" while there.