With Paula, it truly is a glandular problem

Captive Wild Woman (1943)
Starring: John Carradine, Milburn Stone, Lloyd Carrigan, Acquanetta, Evelyn Ankers, Fay Helm, and Ray Corrigan
Director: Edward Dmytryk
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

A mad genius (Carradine) proves the correctness of his cutting-edge theories in glandular functions by transforming a gorilla into a shapely young woman he names Paula (Acquanetta). Tragedy and death ensue.


The more one watches horror and sci-fi films from the 1940s, the more obvious it is why Universal's attempt to recapture the magical horror profits that carried them through the depression in the 1930s failed. Too many of the films from this "revival period" are no different than the sort of nonsense that was issuing forth from small studios like Monogram and PRC; instead of living up to greatness of "The Mummy" and "The Invisible Man," Universal production executives and directors instead lowered themselves to the level of those who had followed on their coattails.

When compared to the classics of the 1930s, or even "Ghost of Frankenstein" and "The Wolfman" from the 1940s--something the modern-day Universal marketeers are encouraging us to do by including this film is DVD multipack titled "Universal Horror: Classic Movie Archive"--this movie falls woefully short. It's more in the league of low-budget efforts like "The Devil Bat" or "The Monster Maker," just to pick two movies about mad scientists at random. That is a serious step down from the great horror shows of the 1930s.

While disappointing when considered in the light of the cinematic greatness that Universal had once brought to the world, "Captive Wild Woman" is well-acted and well-filmed, with a fast pace to carry us quickly through the story. While Carradine is no Bela Lugosi or Lionel Atwill, he does a decent enough job as the mad doctor at the heart of the story, and the exotic beauty of Acquanetta makes the movie more enjoyable as well. This is not a "classic" in any sense other than it's an old movie, but it's worth checking out if you like the fantastic pulp-fiction science of the early sci-fi and horror flicks.

Abbott and Costello do the Dark Continent

Africa Screams (1949)
Starring: Bud Abbott, Lou Costello, Hillary Brooke, and Shemp Howard
Director: Charles Barton
Rating: Six of Ten Stars


After dimwitted but kindhearted bookseller Stanley Livingston (Costello) is mistaken by a scheming con-woman Diane Emerson (Brook) as an Africa expert, he is brought on an African safari that supposedly is hunting for a rare giant ape, but in actuality is searching for a secret tribe of cannibals deep within the African jungle who are rich in diamonds. With Stanley's greedy co-worker Buzz (Abbott) along for the ride, much confusion, double-crossing, and slapstick routines with lions, crocodiles, and giant apes (well, a guy in a monkey suit pretending to be a giant ape) ensue.


"Africa Screams" is a funny, fairly average Abbott & Costello vehicle. Abbotts routines with Shemp Howard (of Three Stooges fame, appearing here as perhaps the most effeminate manservant ever put on screen) are highlights of the film. It remains a solid effort up to the very end, where it erupts into a wild chase scene--with cannibals, crooks, and various kinds of apes and monkeys all chasing Stanley and each other around the set while Buzz tries to make his getaway with a bag of large diamonds--that comes to a sudden halt and leaves a number of plot-threads dangling. Now, I don't expect nice little story packages from an Abbott & Costello film, but the fate of a number of characters is left unresolved, and I would have liked to see a little more in the way of wrap-up.

"Africa Screams" is recommended for Abbott & Costello fans, so long as you go in knowing it's not their best effort. However, if you're one of those oversensitive types who take offense at racism whenever possible, you might want to leave this one alone. (I already mentioned the cannibals, so I think you can guess why I'm warning you.)

A monkey is made of Lugosi in 'The Ape Man'

The Ape Man (aka "Lock Your Doors") (1943)
Starring: Bela Lugosi, Wallace Ford, Minerva Urecal, Louise Currie, and Henry Hall
Director: William Beaudine
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

Dr. Brewster (Lugosi) decides to prove his evolutionary theory of by using a serum to turn himself into a "missing link." He soon regrets his state and goes about developing a cure. Unfortunately, his cure requires lots of fresh spinal fluid, so he takes to prowling the streets with his pet gorilla looking for people to kill.


"The Ape Man" is an embarrassing affair all around. From the guy in the cheap gorilla suit; to Lugosi's "ape man" costume; to the lame reporter trio of comic relief characters; to the tepid climax of the unfocused, messy script, just about everything here should stand as an embarrassment to all those involved in created it. I'm sure everyone could hold their heads high while cashing their paychecks, but I hope they slinked by any theater screening this disaster back in the day. It must have been clear during filming what an awful film this would be; whether viewed as a horror film, or a horror film spoof (and I think they were trying to make the latter) this is a movie that just doesn't work.

In fairness, the actors, by the way, do a passable job, given what they're working with... but even if they'd given Oscar-worthy performances, "The Ape Man" would still be a steaming pile of primate droppings.

Running just under 70 minutes, "The Ape Man" is okay for the first 10-15 of them, but then it takes a sharp nose-dive into The Suck. It remains watchable, but only if you're interested in seeing if it can get any worse (and in seeing an actor in a terribly gorilla suit make a monkey out of himself).