Churchill targeted in last-ditch Nazi plot

The Eagle Has Landed (1976)
Starring: Michael Caine, Donald Sutherland, Robert Duvall, Donald Pleasance, Jenny Agutter, and Jean Marsh
Director: John Sturges
Rating: Eight of Ten Stars

As defeat looks increasily inevitable for Germany, Heinrich Himmler (Pleasance) greenlights a long-shot mission to kidnap Winston Churchill. An elite force of German paratroopers under the command of Colonel Steiner (Caine) infiltrate a village near where Churchill will be taking a vacation, and with the aid of German agents already in place (Sutherland and Marsh), get everything in place for their audacious strike. However, when a series of events cause Steiner's force to be revealed, Steiner takes one last desperate gamble and turns the kidnap mission into one of assassination.


"The Eagle Has Landed" is a great WW2 suspense movie. It's got good acting--even if Sutherland's assumed Irish accent was irritatingly inconsistent--excellent pacing, and characters that for the most part are believable. (The only truly weak aspects of the story involved an insta-romance between Sutherland and Agutter's characters, and a twist at the end that I think the film could have done without.)

If you like WW films and spy thrillers, I think you'll enjoy "The Eagle Has Landed."

'Beyond Evil' is worth going for

Beyond Evil (1980)
Starring: John Saxon, Lynda Day George, Michael Dante, and Janice Lynde
Director: Herb Freed
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When loving couple Larry and Barbara (Saxon and George) move into a house acquired for them by Larry's scheming friend Del (Dante), the man-hating spirit of a voodoo queen who was murdered there (Lynde) is awakened. The spirit first attempts to kill all the men in Barbara's life, and then it possesses Barbara and tries to kill even Larry. Will a force beyond death--and beyond evil--consume the inhabitants of the small South Sea island, or will Larry find a way to defeat the ghost?


This is a fabulous low-budget chiller that features a great collection of energetic and ethusiastic actors--there are literally no bad performances anywhere--and showcases steady, focused direction of the kind that movies with ten times the budget are often lacking.

On the downside, the film features some rather laughable visible effects. In most cases, the filmmakers seemed to be aware that their budget limited what they could do--and they got by quite effectively with creative lighting, fog machines, jump-cuts, and other inexpensive movie gimmicks--but then they also decided to do some animation effects. These were passable when all they were used for were to illustrate whenever the ghost was up to something evil, but when they started showing laser beams shooting from the eyes of the possessed Barbara, the animation went from cheap-looking to rediculous.


Despite the occassional special effects missteps, "Beyond Evil" is mostly a competently executed haunted house/possession flick. It sags a bit in the middle--where the voodoo queen flexes her supernatural muscle and things get a bit repetative as Larry tries to convince the increasingly strange Barbara to seek medical help--but for the most part it remains an engrossing little movie that's worth a look.

A sex change brings Life After Deth

Trancers 6 (2002)
Starring: Zette Sullivan, Jennifer Capo, Robert Donovan, Jere Jon and Timothy Prindle
Director: Jay Woelfel
Producers: Johnnie J. Young, Maurice Smith and Charles Band
Rating: Five of Ten Stars

Time-traveling Trancer Hunter Jack Deth discovers he truly is his own ancestor when he finds himself inhabiting the body of the daughter he sired during a previous trip to the 20th century (Sullivan). He must save her from a new breed of Trancers in order to save himself and the future from oblivion.



I love time-travel stories and the twist arising from the tangle of history created by Jack Deth fathering a child in the past is a fun one and it makes me favorably disposed to this film from the outset. The fact that Full Moon returned to the series' roots as a sci-fi tale and dumped all the fantasy nonsense from Parts 4 and 5 make me like it even more. And given that the film finally resolves to my satisfaction the troubling question about why Jack and his future didn't cease to exist when he definitively wiped out even the origin point of Trancers in Parts 2 and 3--makes me like it even better.

The performance by Zette Sullivan--which basically consists of a skinny girl doing an impersonation of Tim Thomerson's original film-noir macho portrayls of Deth--is cute icing on a well-made cake.

Unfortunately, the cake is a little on the stale side. For all the appealing points of the film, there is a atmosphere of "been here before" throughout it. Previous films featured conspiracies, powerhungry politicos and "trancer farms" like the ones we find in this film (even if screenwriter Joyner used these elements to more effectively than ever before establish why the dark future that spawned Deth's half-destroyed world still comes into being). The method of creating Trancers is different, but the general trappings are the same, so the sense of retread in inescapable.

The inability to hide the low budget that this film was made on is also ever-present. Like just about every movie that Band has been involved with since the turn of the century, the film suffers from production values that are but a pale reflection of what his films once featured. And this drop-off is even more evident on the DVD edition that I acquired of the film, as it contains the original 1985 "Trancers"; "Trancers 6" looks flat and amateurish when viewed in close context with that other film.

Still, if you enjoyed the first three films in this series, I think you'll find enough here to like this one as well. Zette Sullivan is funny and cute, and it's a shame that she hasn't had any film roles since 2002.

'Angel Cop' hasn't stood the test of time

Angel Cop: The Collection (1994)
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

"Angel Cop" is a six-part animated series (presented either on a single VHS tape or DVD in the release I viewed) that is a gritty, bloody tale of cyborgs and cops in a dark near-future. It's a pretty standard tale from the cyberpunk genre, with main characters of questionable morality who are working for bosses who are corrupt and getting ready to screw everyone, and in the end, pretty much everyone dies.

It could be that "Angel Cop" hasn't weathered the passage of time well, but my main reaction to it was to wish that it had presented SOMETHING original. I'd seen everything in "Angel Cop" elsewhere, and I'd seen it done better.

This is a programme that is passable on every level--decent animation throughout, decent voice-actors, decent storyline--except when it comes to originality. And I suspect the marketeers knew this too, which is why the cover image features the female cop with her motorcycle suit zipped waaaay down to show cleavage and then some. (Sorry guys... she never gets that undressed in the show itself.)

B-movie makers spoof themselves

Hollywood Boulevard (1976)
Starring: Candice Rialson, Dick Miller, Paul Bartel, Mary Woronov, and Rita George
Directors: Joe Dante and Allan Arkush
Rating: Six of Ten Stars

When Candy (Rialson) arrives in Hollywood with dreams of being an actress, she falls in with the crazy low-budget filmmakers at Miracle Studios. It soon turns out that one is more crazy than the rest, and Miracle Pictures' starlets keep getting murdered. Will Candy die before she achieves stardom?


"Hollywood Boulevard" is a messy picture that, by the admission of the directors themselves, was cobbled together, rushed and generally made up as they went along. In other words, this Roger Corman-funded tribute/send-up of Roger Corman filmmaking techniques was produced exactly like many of the films it was poking fun at. (And the cast and crew of this picture were all employees of Corman's company, or friends of him and people who were.)

This film is fun to watch, despite its flaws, because it is such a send-up of itself. It also helps that every actor is putting on fun and energetic performances, and the way that everyone seems to be enjoying themselves is infecteous. In many ways, this movie feels like a backyard produciton, but pretty much everyone appearing in major parts were seasoned professionals with dozens of B-movies behind them.

"Hollywood Boulevard" isn't a masterpiece by any stretch of the imagination, but it is fun to watch. Miller's performance as a bottom-run talent agent, the sci-fi production and the Mario Bava send-up portions of the film are particularly funny. It's not something to go out of your way for (in fact, it barely makes it to the Six Tomato mark), but if you enjoy movies about making movies--and if you enjoy the type of movies being made fun of in this film--I think you'll have fun watching it.





For reviews of the kind of movies this film spoofs, visit The Charles Band Collection, Terror Titans and Movies to Die Before Seeing.

Saturday Scream Queen: Kate Jackson

Ranked #18 on FHM's list of "100 Sexiest Women of All Time," Kate Jackson is best known for her long-running roles on the classic television series "Charlie's Angels" and "The Scarecrow and Mrs. King". However, her electricfying presence also brought excitement to the 1960s horror-themed soap opera "Dark Shadows" and numerous made-for-television horror films, including both the 1973 and 2000 versions of "Satan's School for Girls".

She remains a personal favorite actress of mine, and I've enjoyed her in everything that she has done.

'Tomie: Forbidden Fruit' can be left alone

Tomie: Forbidden Fruit (aka "Tomie: The Final Chapter") (2002)
Starring: Nozomi Ando, Aoi Miyazaki and Jun Kunimu
Director: Shun Nakahara
Rating: Three of Ten Stars

The lives of middle-aged widower Kozu (Kunimura) and his lonely, outcast teenaged daugther (Miyazaki) are turned into a morass of nightmares and violence when she is befriended by a new girl at school, Tomie (Ando).


"Tomie: Forbidden Fruit" is the fifth movie based on Junji Ito's supremely creepy "Tomie" horror comics about an unkillable girl/ghost/demon who uses her women wiles to lead men to cause suffering, mayhem, and death whereever she goes. More often than not, Tomie herself dies horribly during the mayhem, but she always comes back from death in ways that are more horrific than the time before.

Like most of the "Tomie" movies, "Forbidden Fruit" never manages to inspire in the viewers the horror and dread that Ito's tales do. In fact, the emotion you'll feel most often while watching this film is boredom. particularly if you've read the comics or seen any other of the "Tomie" films.

There is very little new that's brought to the Tomie tales with this film. The only interesting aspect of the story is that Tomie is two generations of the same family in the film, trying to twist both father and daugther to her will. But this is really too small of an aspect to make the film worth your time.

The film is further dragged down by some very bad choices on the part of the writer and director. Tomie has never come across as the smartest of demons/temptresses, but here she comes across as downright stupid. Early in the film, she tries to get Kozu to kill his daughter "so they can be together like before" but this causes him to turn on her and cleave her skull with an axe--it makes him see her for the monster she is. Later, during the movie's climax, she tries the same trick again. It didn't work the first time, so why does she think it'll work the second time?

To make it even worse, this replay of the "kill your daughter so we can be together" ploy is part of a a final five-ten minutes of run-time that ruins what could otherwise have been an incredibly creepy "happy ending" with both father and daughter gazing upon Tomie frozen inside an ice block while eating potato chips and agreeing on how pretty she is and how much they both love her.

It could be the filmmakers were trying to illustrate that Tomie is all about repeating patterns, but all they ended up doing was screwing up a potentially great ending, a screw-up so bad that it cost the film at least one Rating point, perhaps even two. (Heck, if they'd gone with the movie's REAL ending--with Tomie frozen in the ice block--it could even have lived up to the film's title.)

Although well-acted and featuring moody and well-executed camera work, "Tomie: Forbidden Fruit" is done in by a weak script that fails to live up to the potential of the source material and a desire to heavy-handed drive home the point that there is never a "final chapter" where Tomie is concerned. (BTW, I don't really spoil anything by revealing that Tomie gets frozen in an iceblock toward the end of the film. It's an event that's telegraphed early on, and you'd have seen it coming even if I hadn't mentioned it.)

'Haunts' is an interesting misfire

Haunts (aka "The Veil") (1977)
Starring: May Britt, Cameron Mitchell, and Aldo Ray
Director: Herb Free
Rating: Four of Ten Stars

A young woman (Britt) haunted by dark memories is stalked by a murdering rapist, or is she? The town sheriff (Aldo) thinks she's being hysterical... and just what is it her slovenly uncle (Mitchell) doing with his nights?


"Haunts" is a thriller that attempts to use a mentally unbalanced character to provide the narrative Point of View for the film. It's a clever and laudable idea, but it's not one that the director and writer (one and the same, at least with a co-writing credit on the script) were up to pulling off. The film is a bit too slow in unfolding, and what could have been a truly powerful ending (with some chilling realizations dawning on the part of the attentive viewers) is weakened by it likewise going on for a tad too long and by a last-minute attempt at throwing a possibility of something supernatural into a straight thriller. Once again, we have an ending that's ruined by filmmakers who just didn't know when to quit.

With some judicious editing, this film could actually be quite good, and it's one I wish I liked more. There's alot of misspent potential here, and all the three leads do such a good job that the void of talent embodied by some of the supporting cast is almost not noticeable. (In fact, a scene in a bar featuring two of these talentless actors could be cut almost entirely, and the film would immediately get stronger in several ways--the mystery of the killer's ID would be heightened, and we'd have lost some of the more noxious flab dangling from the work's body.

You didn't expect anything else, did you?

April Fool's Day (1986)
Starring: Deborah Foreman, Ken Olandt, Pat Barlow, Deborah Goodrich, and Jay Baker
Director: Fred Walton
Rating: Seven of Ten Stars

Muffy St. John (Foreman) invites several of her good friends from college to spend the weekend of April 1st partying at her isolated family home. Fun turns to fear when the guests start to fall victim to a murderer.


"April Fool's Day" demonstrates that long before Wes Craven's "Scream" movies, filmakers were playing with the subgenre's standards and audience expectations to create films that deliver both the familiar and unexpected. The coolest about "April Fool's Day" is that the title and the jokes that day brings to mind are used to their utmost all throughout the movie... all the way up that twist upon the all-too-expected "unexpected twist ending.

With a cast that's not only handsome but also talented, a solid, expertly paced script that only works as a slasher tale but also serves as a almost-classic suspense film, this is a movie that fans of both slasher flicks and mystery films should get a kick out of. (The only possible dissapoitment I can see is if you like gory death scenes with lots of blood. This film features none of those. There is a really cool scene in a well where.... I better stop. I don't want to spoil anything!)

The Celebretard and the Media Moron

As I've said previously, I think Jesse James is an asshole and a diwmit. However, there's no reason for the idiocy that's been stirred up around this picture:



Click here to see the hysterical gossip article that was written to go with the above photo. Apparently, for the writer, the photo raises the following question: "Is James -- who has since checked into rehab -- a neo-Nazi?"

How does one draw that conclusion from that photo? Looks to me like James is trying to be funny rather than respectful of Hitler and Nazis. To me, that photo looks like the sort of thing any number of people might do if they were among friends and trying to get a laugh.

A more interesting question would be why the "friend" who took that picture would leak it to the media.

I suppose similar dimwits might draw the conclusion that I'M a neo-Nazi because of my upcoming observance of the destruction of the Third Reich, or because I always played the German when we played soldiers as kids because I owned a toy Luger.